There once was a family called Kane
Planned a trip to the island of rain
Ger said he needed a hip
But his sisters pressured the trip
We fear now he'll be driven insane
Boys - by Sarah & Kate
Two gents named Johnny and Joe
A football they wanted to throw
Often tossing a shirt
And tumbling down in the dirt
Their mothers would end up their foes.
The children of Sugar did journey
Whether by plane or by boat or by gurney
We must share this time
Its a victimless crime
Just in case - shall we bring an attorney?
Patrick Hogan to Patty Kane said
You make such a fine soda bread
Go to practice your gift
While I practice left shift
As Marcella said before we are dead
Two lasses named Theresa and Kate
Left the pub and then debated their fate
What led you to think
I'd give up the drink
Said Kate I can't drive in this state
They did travel to the County of Kerry
The Kanes and those they did marry
Oh now we'll begin
Trade our bucket of gin
For Guinness with our brother Gerry
Oh what fun we'll have visiting the green
Climbing on islands and castles serene
The trip includes cousins
Just four of two dozen
Next time we'll lure more like Colleen
Said John Saldano to his lovely bride
There is a secret I have to confide
A trip with your kinfolk
Resembles a sick joke
Such as travelling with Jekyll and Hyde
The eldest Kane sister sweet Betty
Hiked with kin round Ireland all sweaty
The day of her birth we did toast
Sadly she was deaf as a post
She thought we were ordering spaghetti
He said he alwalys asks her to call
Well he better head to the wailing wall
Cuz Theresa's gone o'er the ocean
To set the plan in motion
Beginning with a giant pub crawl
Two Bakers and a lady named Kane
Departed one day on a plane
As they flew o'er the ocean
They caused a commotion
By singing and acting insane
(by Bob Forbes)
As the Emerald Isle grew near
The pilot heard Kate give a cheer
Let's get to the gate
You know I can't wait
The stewardess has run out of beer.
(by Bob Forbes)
Three gents went out one night
You know they’re usually quite bright
So they steered clear of Tutty’s
But encountered some nuttys
Like Val, who took odor to a new height
A group of twelve on their Irish folly
Guiness and Jamisons keeping them jolly
As attentions were slackin’
and journal details a lackin’
We were saved by the sharp mind of Molly
St Kevin sought peace and content
But a girl came with sinful intent
He could have said no
Or asked her to go
But no talking, so over she went
Hike dogs
We sent two boys out to scout
They had to find the best route
A hound they did rankle
Who snapped at an ankle
They both did a quick turnabout.
- Sile (within an hour on the hike to Cloon lake.)
Sheila
I knew Sheila was strong and automonous
Yet she can be quite anonymous
But she filled me with fear
And filled me with beer
By announcing she's mostly monogamous.
Squatters
A shepherd on the hills of Lake Cloon
Was resting and humming a tune
When what did he spot
But three Kanes in a squat
Just imagine Lake Cloon with three moons.
Kate
On Tracy Lane a lassie named Kit
Started on the limerick kick.
She brought it to great height
None thought it was 'shite'
Proving Kit's wit is funnier than shit.
Gerry
It was Gerry that started the scheme
An Ireland house was no dream
For him one things a must
Without - its a bust
A place to hide his Brylcreem
Gerry's diaphragm
A gentleman, Gerry says "ma'm"
His demeanor as gentle as a lamb
With humor he chirps
And never a burp!
Ahh - a sublime diaphram
Changing places
Home home on the range
But then, time for a change
So off to Skellig Michael
By boat not by car or cycle
And now on on to Newgrange
From Iowa came Patty and Pat
For three years barely a chat!
But I was knocked on my ass
when Pat ordered a glass
Did he catch something from his dog Cormack
So peaceful and sacred was Glenlough
St Kevins cell built in the rock
But would it be heresy
Would you call me a pharisee
If I prefer the sanctity of Knock.
Molly
Our Molly is now sweet sixteen
To travel with her is a dream.
Plays whistle and flute.
Wins at boggle to boot.
What a perfectly lovely colleen!
Life's best with family beside
They can ease life's trouble-filled ride
And tis best I do think
If you share food & drink
And by twelve all your problems divide
Theresa
As a girl she was known as the meanest
When grown she was usually leanest
Now she's with us for the ride
With sweet Molly beside
And we'll have no mere man come between us.
Kate
Kate climbed Skellig rock with great care-a
As it rose thousands of feet in the air-a
While others were pokin'
And German lesbos were smokin'
Kit glued her eyes to the feet of wild Sara
St Sheila
There was a fair lady from M A
Who cooked for the crowd every day
Tho her halo was slipping
In the pub whilst she was sipping
Her heart's sacred to us to this day.
Betty
She's a red-headed lady from Campbell
And she loves in the evening to gambol
Walks the village at night
Seeking action that's right
But next morn she's still up for a ramble
Sarah
She's a blond little girl from mid-west
Who rarely puts all to the test
Please give her some mash
And some bacon - a whole rash
'Cause her smile banishes all of the rest
John
The most Irish of all though but half
John quickly became chief of staff
Tho we thought it a curse
That he could not find reverse
Going forward he led us to laugh.
John & Just Patrick
We agreed that it's Ireland or bust.
So off to the Green Isle we rushed
But once here there's no hurry
And the driving? No worry
Trust the hands of John & Patrick Just
Bros-in-law
Twas the two of them matched 'gainst the throng
With great humor they drove us along
They gave more than they got
As they handled the lot
Just Patrick and John do no wrong.
Joe
While visiting Castle of Cahir
Joe Baker learned something qutie rare
When fighting in blood
Left handed is good
Especially going up stairs
Patrick
Just Patrick loves things from the past
He prefers things that just last and last
But when cooking on planks
He will give you no thanks
For mentioning coals pre-heated fast.
Johnny
Young Johnny of whom it is said
Will eat anything put 'tween bread
Give him all kinds of meat
The better to eat
Something larger than even his head.
Phone
We travelled here from the West
Of course we thought we knew best
We couldn't leave home
without bringing a phone
Thus inviting an unwelcome guest.
Peat
While under the cover of fog
John and Patrick went out for a jog
Then just down the street
They discovered some peat
And saved us a trip to the bog
Cloon
Since our trip would be ending so soon
We decided to rise before noon
We drove over the pass
Then hiked en masse
And ended up at Lough Cloon
(done within an hour of the hike)
Kanes
There once was a family named Kane
Who were willing to walk through the rain
To sit in a cozy
With a pint at Tig Rosies
And dream of winning the big game.
The Boys -
As we travelled with Johnny & Joe
One kept asking where will we go
And whenever we ate
They so heaped their plates
We thought we'd run out of dough
Kane girls
There were five sisters named Kane
Who came to Ireland by plane
They flew into Shannon
Their cares to abandon
And Ireland was never the same
or
They had great craic despite rain.
Trying to get there by nine
We want to be on time
At the toll booth in Dublin
The change went a tumbling
We covet first place in line
We rise before the sheep
A promise to Kit to keep
We get there in time
We're second in line
Two burial sites to meet
We come to Ireland traveling light
Few clothes seemed so right
Then Gerry and Patty tried to launder
How long woud it take they pondered
The machine spun on all nightn
The is the question of old
To ask it would be too bold
I went out to the sreet
A man in kilts I did meet
Horn honks, kilt lifts, for buns to behold.